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Finding God in Laziness

It’s been a month since I decided to come back to my business, Crooked Calligraphy, in a completely new way.

(Read the business manifesto I published on February 15, 2023.)

Here’s something my unconscious revealed to me today: This experiment is WAY more important than I realized.

I NEED to do this business experiment because I NEED to know THAT there is something else out there taking care of me, other than myself.

It’s like a trust fall with the universe… if I let go of the productivity, the “value add”, the to-do checklists and laundry baskets… will I still be ok?

As I type this, I feel myself starting to cry because this isn’t just a BUSINESS experiment, it’s a RELIGIOUS experiment.

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I’ve held on so tightly for all my life. Gripping the wheel like I was in charge of steering the entire bus of my security and well-being. Surely if I got up from that driver’s seat and laid in the backseat to play video games, the bus would crash, flip over and spontaneously combust.

And now as I’m typing this, goddamnit, I’m realizing how similar this all sounds to the whole “Jesus Take the Wheel” idea.

….And that makes me go “ick” because I went to a very dogmatic, Baptist Christian elementary school and I witnessed a lot of hypocrisy and hate.

But this idea of mine is NOT new, for crying out loud. This idea that we need to let go of control; that our feeble, rationalizing, socialized, pre-frontal cortexes can’t possibly see all the solutions.

I need to believe that there’s some kind of magic in this world. Whether that’s called divinity or source or the universe or nature or just the whole of our bodies taking in and processing more millions of bits of data than our “logical” minds can know…

This past year hasn’t just been a “break from business” or sabbatical or even a well-deserved “rest and recharge.” It’s been, and continues to be, a radical act of FAITH.

"Beating" the Algorithm

I posted about my “New Instagram Energy” on Instagram yesterday and got this comment in response:

So… HOW DO WE WORK AROUND THE INSTAGRAM ALGORITHM?

The short answer is… WE DON’T.

Trying to “work around” the Instagram algorithm makes Instagram the boss of you. And doing things a certain way, begrudgingly, because your boss demanded it… well, that doesn’t usually lead to a healthy, long-term relationship with that behavior. Your creativity and soul fire WILL slowly die if your only goal on Instagram is to beat the algorithm.

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But here’s the longer, more nuanced answer, which I’m still building faith in:

Trying to “beat” the algorithm automatically sets up an adversarial relationship with Instagram.

Like, you have to outmaneuver it to get what you want.

Because you’re RELYING ON IT TO GET WHAT YOU WANT.

I used to pick up my phone dozens of times a day to check how my posts were doing. To get that little dopamine hit of likes, comments, DMs, attention, praaaaaaise!!!

In other words, I wanted Instagram (and the real human PEOPLE on it) to FEED ME ALL THE TIME.

It felt like being chained to a slot machine that I kept feeding my hard-earned fucks into and occasionally, I would get showered with validation and think “YES! I WON!!"" But most of the time, I just felt bitter and resentful at the number of likes and comments I was getting. And yet I couldn’t walk away. I couldn’t stop feeding the machine. I was addicted.

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And that fucked-up relationship doesn’t just stop when you close the Instagram app.

If this is the energy you’re approaching Instagram with… it’s probably the energy you’re approaching the rest of your business, and all of your potential customers, with.

The energy of:

• This is all so unfair

• There are only a few winners in business and I’m probably not going to be one of them

• My work isn’t good enough to stand on its own, so I better do all the latest tricks to get more visible

• It’s more important to do it the “right” way than the way that truly feeds my soul

• There’s never enough (followers, likes, comments, DMs, customers) so my biggest goal is to get more, more, more

• I don’t trust that my best customers are out there, so I have to work really hard to convince everyone

Most creative entrepreneurs are on Instagram trying to get “seen” by the biggest number of people because they think that will bring them success (somehow).

When really, the thing that will make the biggest impact is getting seen by THE RIGHT KINDS OF PEOPLE.

People don’t buy handmade creations, works of art, calligraphy courses, etc. because they’re made by perfectly polished, algorithmically-ideal companies with massive marketing budgets.

I mean, are you really going to compete with Target or Michaels?

Customers buy from creative entrepreneurs BECAUSE OF THE ENTREPRENEUR.

>>>>So, what if the biggest priority is isn’t figuring out the algorithms, but figuring out how cultivate the juiciest, best, creative ideas inside your own self?

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Like I said, I’m still building up faith in this whole idea.

So here’s the new, more trusting relationship with Instagram that I’m trying out now.

It’s basically the exact opposite of the shitty slot machine. I pour value and humor and insight and beauty into my people, who happen to be on that app, and expect NOTHING in return. Because I don’t need Instagram to feed me anymore.

The act of creating feeds me. The ideas and insights I have because I kept all of my fucks… that feeds me. The knowledge that I’m putting value out into the world… that feeds me.

And ironically, that energy ends up ATTRACTING just the right kinds of people. The people who get so much value out of the free stuff I feel inspired to share, that they can’t wait to pay me to get even more value.

…….I have faith that this approach will work. That’s why I’m trying out this CRAZY-ASS EXPERIMENT.

I’ll keep you posted on how it’s all going.

With Love & Hope,

Shinah

My new Instagram energy

When I first started posting on Instagram, there was a naive delight to it.

No one was watching me. I had zero expectations of myself or the platform. I didn’t know the “rules”…

So I created each day, sometimes multiple times a day, and shared out of excitement.

Look at the clever calligraphy phrase that inspired me today! Look at these flourishes I just learned, aren’t they neat?

But, over time, as people started to notice, and reward me with likes and comments and attention…

I started to turn away from my the fuel of my own inner delight, and towards the buzzy energy of other peoples’ praise and admiration.

Then, my calligraphy videos started going viral and large accounts started re-posting my creations…

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Positive attention from others is a mighty tasty drug. It’s LOUDER and shinier than the gentle nourishment of your own quiet desires.

Before I knew it, Instagram had become a daily chore.

• “What am I going to do for my post today?”

• “I have to come up with something fresh and new or people will get bored.”

• “Only 500 likes today? What went wrong???”

• “I keep hearing that you have to respond to every single comment and DM, so I guess I’ll just grit my teeth and do it.”

Even now, when I open up the Instagram app, I remember the feeling of GRINDING my way through each new post.

1. Choose some witty or trendy quote from the list I kept in my “Notes” app.

2. Set up my camera to film.

3. Attempt the calligraphy 2-3 times ‘cause the first time wasn’t perfect enough.

4. Edit the video in a separate app - brighten, crop, speed up…

5. Upload to Instagram and maybe add a filter.

6. Reach deep inside to find some inspiring words to add as a caption.

7. Paste in the mandatory (to me) 30 relevant hashtags.

8. Hit “Post”.

9. Heave a sigh of relief and cross that task off my to-do list.

10. Compulsively check IG every thirty minutes for the rest of the day to see how the post is doing.

11. Plaster on a fake smile and type out a chirpy response to each comment.

12. Feel a temporary THRILL if the post did especially well and a soul-deep disappointment if the post didn’t get as much engagement as I wanted it to.

DO YOU SENSE THE TERRIBLE ENERGY LURKING UNDER THAT LIST?

ME to YOU, my audience:

“Oh god, I’m working so hard and showing up every day with a smile to create this for your pleasure… PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE like it. If you like it a lot, then I can go through the next few hours feeling good about myself. Oh no, you don’t like it? I can change it for you! I can do it better tomorrow - please like it tomorrow, okaaaayyyyy?”

The thing is, that list above (with some of the snarky words removed) could show up totally unironically in a blog post entitled: “How to Boost Your Instagram Engagement in 2023!!!”

That list is what many creative entrepreneurs are slogging through each day. Because we feel like that’s what we SHOULD be doing in order to be successful.

>>>>>>>FUCK THAT FOREVER.

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Here’s my new Instagram energy:

“My unique creativity, life experience and insights are SO VALUABLE that whatever I feel like posting today will help someone.

ESPECIALLY if it’s not perfect, especially if it’s not what people expect from a calligraphy account.

I trust that the people who need to hear what I have to say are out there and hungry for exactly the way I choose to show up today.

If YOU are one of those people, I love you and am so happy to connect with you. We do not need an exchange of likes or comments to do that.

I trust myself and I trust YOU.”

I’m going to try my best to remember this energy every single day, because it’s the one of the most valuable things I can do for the world right now.

With Love & Strength,

Shinah

My Radical Business Experiment - A Manifesto

This year, I’m embarking on a radical experiment of TRUST.

I’m allowing my business to be a true playground.

I’m breaking intergenerational patterns of obligation and rule-following and scarcity… and reaching for FREEDOM. Isn’t that the ultimate dream for immigrant parents: that their children be safe and happy and free?

I’m finally doing what I’ve been dreaming of doing for 8 years… moving towards living in FLOW.

It’s a trust fall with the universe. What will happen if I truly let go of all the SHOULDS and HAVE-TOs? Will I end up homeless on the street, alone? Or will I be ok?

“You can’t REALLY do whatever the fuck you want. That’s not how life works,… right?”

I’m a little afraid of the answer.

But I want to find out, more than I am afraid.

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So here’s the radical experiment.

In 2021, my business, Crooked Calligraphy, made over $900K in revenue and employed 7 women across the country. But running it felt HEAVY and eventually I burned out and felt like I had to step waaaaay back, or even abandon it completely.

In early 2022, I decided to do a final sale… and then I WENT SILENT for 9 whole months.

And now, this is what I feel inspired to do.

>>>>For all of 2023, I’m going to:

• Run Crooked Calligraphy in exactly the way I want to run it, without following any of the business “rules” I’ve learned and stuck to in the past.

• Hold my people (that’s you) in the highest regard and share openly and honestly. But also put ruthless anti-people-pleasing boundaries in place.

• Share with you what I learn and what my business ends up bringing to my life, in DOLLARS and GROWTH and LESSONS.

I will:

• Create from JOY, not obligation

• Try to recognize when I’m acting out of the “SHOULD mentality”, and take a step back from that action, even if it’s highly inconvenient

• Allow things to be MESSY, even if that means starting and stopping projects, pivoting halfway through, or giving up entirely on something I had planned to do

• Allow ideas to flow, without needing to MAXIMIZE anything (IG likes, profits, nice comments, etc.)

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This feels like something I HAVE TO DO right now. If I got a cancer diagnosis right this second and knew I only had 3 years to live… I would still do exactly this.

It will be messy as fuck. It will be unfiltered, raw, unexpected and probably a little bit challenging. If that’s not what you need in your life right now, if you were just hoping for beautiful, soothing calligraphy videos… that’s totally ok. I invite you to stay or leave, whatever feels right to you.

But if you stay… I’m so excited to see what unfolds together.

Love,

Shinah

February 15, 2023

Ch-ch-ch-changes at Crooked Calligraphy

If you’ve been following me on Instagram, you might have seen hints that things have been evolving behind the scenes here at Crooked Calligraphy.

So here’s the big announcement: Our full-support Modern Calligraphy 101 and 201 programs are coming to a close

If you've been waiting to get into these programs, don't panic! Please read the rest of this for important info. There’s a LOT, so I’ve organized it FAQ-style.

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1) WHAT IS THE “WHY” BEHIND THIS DECISION?

I’ve been teaching people how to do calligraphy since 2016. And I've been so blessed to have been able to work with thousands of students, in all different settings.

I’ve been feeling for awhile that it's the right time to close this "Calligraphy Teacher" chapter of my life.

It’s sad and I’ll have to grieve letting it go. But it’s also exciting because I know there are more expansive things ahead for me.

I’m going to take a break from selling and marketing, explore the world of life/business coaching, and help our final group of students get the MOST out of our programs.

Which leads to…

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2) WILL I HAVE ONE LAST CHANCE TO GET INTO MODERN CALLIGRAPHY 101 AND 201?

Yes! We will be enrolling one final group of amazing students who are ready for a creative life TRANSFORMATION. We’ll be opening doors to both MC101 and MC201 around April 15, 2022.

Because I want to be fully transparent, here is what the offers & prices will be:

• MC101 Price: $697 USD

• MC201 Price: $697 USD

• MC101 & MC201 + Bonus “Calligraphy Business Starter Guide” course: $997 USD

Payment plans will also be availble.

From now until April 15, we will be CELEBRATING everything we’ve accomplished: our journey, our team, and especially our students.

I’m also excited to bring you one final BRAND-NEW FREE CHALLENGE…

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3) WHAT IS THE “NEWBIE TO PRO CALLIGRAPHER” CHALLENGE?

It’s the most expansive, value-packed FREE 5-DAY CHALLENGE we’ve ever offered.

I’ll be teaching you:

1. how to get started with pointed pen calligraphy, AND

2. how to plan for your first $1K in calligraphy SALES

I’ll be teaching BOTH pen-to-paper calligraphy SKILLS and the business WISDOM you need to become a professional calligrapher (even if you have no biz experience, no start-up money, and no audience).

We start Sunday, April 10, 2022 and you can sign up RIGHT HERE.

This will be your best chance to get a taste of HOW I TEACH and the organization, value & support that we put into our paid programs, which will be opening at the end of the Challenge…

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4) IF I ENROLL IN MC101 OR MC201 IN APRIL, WILL I GET THE SAME PROGRAM EXPERIENCE WITH ALL THE SUPPORT?

Yes! We have always promised our students:

1. One full year to submit projects and receive personalized feedback from our teachers

2. Six live Q&A sessions (2 per month for 3 months) with me and my teaching team

3. Access to the student Facebook community for as long as it exists

4. Lifetime access to the course contents

None of that will be changing.

• We have continuously added to our programs over the past 4 years so that they contain EVERYTHING you need to get really good at calligraphy. We've also built and trained a team of expert teachers so we can provide all of our students with personalized feedback through April 30, 2023.

• We will still be hosting the 6 Live Q&A Sessions (and putting the recordings into the course portal).

• We are planning to keep the student FB community open indefinitely.

• We will either keep the course website open and available OR give all students ample opportunity to DOWNLOAD all course videos & worksheets if we ever decide to deactivate the course website.

We also have some fun, exciting EXTRA community efforts planned. This last group of students will be getting the absolute best experience we can offer (and we've gotten a 4.95 out of 5 rating from our students so far this year, so it's gonna be pretty damn fucking good!).

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5) CAN I GET INTO MC101 OR MC201 NOW BEFORE THE APRIL OPEN ENROLLMENT?

No. Enrollment to our programs is closed until April 15, 2022 (if you have recently received an exclusive offer via email to join one of our courses at the current prices, that offer is still good until the deadline stated in your email).

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6) WHAT ABOUT CURRENT & PAST MC101 OR MC201 STUDENTS?

Students who are already enrolled in MC101 or MC201 will be receiving a special offer in April to purchase MC201 or the Calligraphy Business Bonus Course. I sent a separate email to our students only, so please refer to that for more details.

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7) WILL MC101 OR MC201 EVER BE AVAILABLE AGAIN AFTER APRIL 2022?

Not with the level of support and personalized feedback we currently offer.

I have always tried my best to be transparent and honest with you. And in my heart, I feel it is time for me to move on from running this kind of company, with this level of complexity and volume of students & team members.

There is a small possibility that I may offer MC101 and MC201 as self-study courses with no support. But if that happens, it will be much much later.

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Phew! I know that was a lot of information, so I've also put it all into a blog post so you can refer back to it.

If you have any questions, please email school@crookedcalligraphy.com and we'll do our absolute best to clarify.

I've been feeling sad that this time in my life is coming to a close, but mostly I'm so EXCITED and PROUD of what me and my team have put out into the world through Crooked Calligraphy.

And we're not done quite yet! So make sure to join the "NEWBIE TO PRO CALLIGRAPHER" CHALLENGE to hear honest behind-the-scenes of my business and the best calligraphy technique tips I can share. It's the FINAL CHALLENGE so I'm not holding anything back!!

With love & hope & excitement,

Shinah

TL;DR - We're hosting a BRAND-NEW FREE 5-DAY CHALLENGE to help you get started with pointed-pen calligraphy AND plan for your first $1K in sales as a professional calligrapher!

This will lead into the FINAL OPEN ENROLLMENT for our wildly popular Modern Calligraphy 101 & Modern Calligraphy 201 programs - after April 2022, we will no longer be selling these courses so this will be your LAST CHANCE to get in and experience this 4.95 out of 5-star rated calligraphy learning community!